First weigh-in

I'm really enjoying the new WW program. They've combined the principles of the Core program-- which gives zero points to most fruits and veggies-- with the Flex program. It's changed my thinking. If I'm hungry but am getting close to my points limit for the day, I have a salad or a piece of fruit. I find myself eating more produce this way.

So the progress? Down 2.6 lbs! And I ended up having a number of my flex points left over too.

All in all, I think this week was a success!

Where I have been

As I was looking through some old pictures, I was amazed at what I saw.

I have struggled with my weight my whole life. Moreso in the past decade, but I've never been thin.

In 2002 I joined the military. I was 153 when I joined, and in the 3.5 years I was there, I gained 50 lbs. The last picture is of me before I was discharged, at my heaviest weight (203).




This picture was taken in May of 2008, when I was around 165 lbs. I would go on to lose 6.5 more pounds before getting pregnant with my son in September of 2008.


I know I can do it. I know it's possible. This time, I'm ready and it's time.

::sneaks in the back door and looks around::

Here we are, January again. Hard to believe. Is it possible that my goal can be the same this year as it was a year ago?

Disheartening.

But that's all I'm going to allow myself to wallow. What's the point? Can't go back and change it, so here I am. Facing it.

Good points from this year: I completed my first 5k. 38:01! I finished the Couch 2 5k program. I couldn't believe that I was able to do what I did, going from a nonrunner to finishing a 5k in under 40 mins.

Low points: I'm still where I was at this time last year. (OK, I lied, one more moment of wallowing). I tried a few different ways to exercise, and found one that worked (see above), but stopped running when I was working full time and taking 2 graduate classes.

Goals:
*I'm signing up for the Seacoast Race Series for 2011. It includes 8 races, ranging from 5ks to a half marathon. We shall see about the half, but I think it would be a good goal. Shoot for the moon and land among the stars, right?

*Feel better about myself. Could be a combination of exercise, eating better, sleeping better or taking my antidepressants regularly.

*Focus not on the scale, but on the way my clothes are fitting. Case in point: my scale was telling me I had lost 7 lbs, but my clothes were not fitting better. Turns out it was busted.

*Enrich and better the relationships with the people in my life. While not weight related, a very important goal indeed. I'm hoping by getting myself physically healthy I can improve my mental and social health as well.

So there you have it, dear readers. Another year, more resolutions. But hopefully, this will be my year. 2011, here I come.

~J

Working out

I'm only down 2 lbs. While that's 2 lbs less that I have to lose, it's still a struggle. As a result, I've decided to try focusing on working out instead of my food intake. I've found when I work out, I'm less likely to make poor food choices. I started doing the Couch to 5k workouts and joined a gym. I have my first race October 30th and I'm excited and nervous. I'll be running with a few of my mom friends and hopefully we can push each other to finish!

Back (again)

I don't know why this has been so hard this time. I went to WW meetings for almost 4 months, and I never managed to get lower than 173. Thankfully, I haven't gone up much, but I'm definitely not losing. This weekend I was just feeling awful. I can see the weight creeping up my arms and legs. I can hardly see the tone in my arms and thighs. It's awful. I feel horrible, am beginning to deal with depression, and am just not happy all around.

My husband and I decided to recommit to Weight Watchers yesterday. This is the first time we've done it together, which I'm hoping will help. Neither of us are feeling good physically and mentally. I'm sure out eating habits have not helped our situation, so we're going to do it together. Here's to new goals and a new start.

::jawdrop::

No wonder my jeans are getting tight.

The first label is from the meeting I went to Wednesday night. In jeans. At 630PM. I figured since Saturdays would be my weigh in days, I'd go again this morning and get weighed in for realsies. I expected to be around 173 (so says my scale at home) but. . . no. BIG FAT NO. Yikes.

This means I'm only 7 lbs away from when I originally started WW 2 years ago. That is so discouraging. I'm upset with myself that I let myself get this far off. Now instead of 15(ish) lbs to lose, I have closer to 30 lbs.

30 lbs. Punch in my gut.

However, at the meeting today the leader said something so obvious, but something I had never considered.

{Sidebar: For those not familiar with the WW system, you get daily points to use for food. The number is determined by your height and weight, and fluctuates as you lose. You also get a bank of 35 "flex" points, to be used as you wish for treats and splurges, and then you can also add activity points to your bank by working out. Points are only good for that week, so they don't carry over.}

She said your daily points should be spent on filling foods, and your flex points should be saved for those things you really want to splurge on. Like, a serving of potato chips. Or, a piece of cake at the birthday party. Obvious right? Well, I had been doing things a little bit differently. I had been basically dividing up those points and giving myself an extra 5 points a day. It increased the amount of food I could eat, but I never put much thought into WHAT I was really eating. Well, how am I supposed to learn proper eating habits when I'm eating whatever I want and not making really good choices? Revelation.

I threw out the cake.

Blasphemy in a past life. How things are in my new one.

My daughter's birthday party was on Sunday, and as most hosts do I overestimated the number of people that would be attending. Hence, TONS of leftover chocolate cake with buttercream frosting. I'm talking half a sheet. So yum. . . Anyway, I found myself taking bites here and there (and there and here and there) and realized at this point in my journey, having chocolate cake in my house was not conducive to my weight loss. So I tossed it in the trash.

And actually felt good about it.

In other news, I've upgraded my online WW tools to a monthly pass and will be going to meetings. As a child of an alcoholic, I found the meeting that I went to last night eerily similar to an AA meeting I went to with my father. First names only, bravo stickers, sharing stories. . . Am I addicted to food?? Perhaps. But if it can help my father (who is 8 years sober!) than maybe it can help me!